If you are paying attention to my time in between postings, you will realize how quickly God can work. That's one thing about my God that i love. As you have noticed, i've been feeling really suppressed lately. I've been in this deep pit that felt so inescapable. I felt lonely. But i preferred it. I felt pressured. I hid from it. I hated the world for being so happy when i was so NOT! Everything felt so distant and impossible. I felt so caged into my surroundings and my education. Weird, i know! I LOVE my university. And i LOVE my abilities and my knowledge. But i still felt so measured. So sized up. So DECIDED. Every night i prayed and prayed "God give me the peace that surpasses all understanding!" Having a mom who has worked with mental health most of her/my life, and her currently working in a mental hospital, i now realize what she meant when she said that depression was a sickness; one that you had to get over. My previous thoughts on the subject were that people just need to get over themselves. Well that's what i get for judging others. It hurts. A lot. And no matter what people say, no matter how many times you and other people shove more scripture down your throat, God will reveal Himself to you in His timing. I found that tonight. I'VE GOT A LIFE TO START LIVING! Sure, i still feel like i'm living in a hell hole compared to the narnian paradise that i dream of, but i've got to deal with what i've got. And that is still God's green earth, a country filled with opportunities, and a FATHER who snaps his fingers and gets my attention. As much as i think that i'm pursuing HIM, He pursues me one million times more! Now for some much needed rest, on the bed of faith that HE has prepared for me!
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