......still

Well....today was another day. Not really sure how this is going to play out. But it's still present nonetheless, this emotionally suppressed state. Today was better....i guess you could say. I had my art classes and my english class (which is taught by a woman who, in my opinion, is the only reason that college english professors still have a good name) and then came home to my dorm room. From there i turned on my soft listening playlist comprised of a combination of Narnia and Pride and Prejudice. I put on a pot of coffee and snuggled up to read one of my favorite Narnian Chronicles, The Horse and His Boy. I must say, it helped. Thank the good Lord on High i didn't have anything important due tomorrow. I picked up dinner to go and came back to the dorm to eat and watch bits and pieces another one of my favorites, Million Dollar Baby. I showered then read some more of narnia. And now here i sit. I can't say that today made it all better. Because i still feel empty. But it's only God's grace and mercy that i was emotionally able to act civil around my classmates. Ironically, the most cheery part of my day was chatting and laughing with a few strangers in my art classes. Maybe adaptation is what my heart has been longing for lately. Not assimilation......that would be a no no.....adaptation. Adaptation to the craziness of life, to it's unexpectedness, to it's scary gyrating paths, to it's possibilities, to it's loveliness all in one. It's overwhelming. I'm trying to get my face out of the sand so i can breathe. Meanwhile, it feels as if the tide is coming in so i'd better hurry.....

thanks friends for your prayers and concerns. God is the light, and in Him there is no darkness.
Time to spend some time in the Word. goodnight