beautiful morntingK

Today is SUCH a beautiful day! It's days like these that seem almost like little bonus gifts from God after a really stressful week. And it wasn't all great to begin with. This morning i was planning on playing some MUCH NEEDED tennis with one of my only friends here that's a decent player. Well, she was really exhausted this morning and we had to take a rain check. So that was disappointing. BUT, i decided to make the most of this wonderfully beautiful day and make pancakes with my roommate, Alaina! They were very yummy and we opened the back door so that the nice cool breeze could flow throughout the house. We had some Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald on Pandora and just enjoyed this early part of the morning that we rarely get to experience. We usually sleep in because of having such a stressful week at school. So it's been quite the lovely day so far. I'm about to head to rehearsal. We open in less than a week! crazy. Then i return to work on the weekends. It will be nice to have an income once again. Really missing my family and my two best friends. CANNOT wait to go back home for the wedding---even if it's for only two days.

let go let God

Ok so i was talking to my wonderful friend Garrett Miles the other day. Really, this kid means a lot to me. We can be apart for nearly a year and then meet up again and it's like we had seen each other the day before. So awesome.

Anyways, i was telling him that i was just having so many questions about my life recently because of how much i missed everyone back home. I was telling him that i love my friends here, but i just miss the intense connection that i had with my friends back at home. I was telling him that i was so afraid that i was going to get out of school and then not want to do this with my life anymore. Garrett reminded me that i was in Philly for a reason and that everything happens for a reason. God's domain does not contain "chance". It's all by His hand. I believe that. I'm so for that fact. But of course the worry wart in me always has that second thought in the back of my brain that says that everything still might not work out. It's the devil trying to tell me that those people back at home wont accept me when i go back at times. I'm just afraid of not having access to the greatness that i once has in my life back home.

So i've come to the realization that my life is like many chapters. High school with my friends was a chapter. Southeastern was a chapter. And now UArts is a chapter. I need to allow certain chapters of my life to close while allowing the essense of all of those great things about my life back then to still permeate my life in the present. If my friends are/were truly my friends then they will accept me at ANY chapter of my life.

Friends are good for this kind of stuff! lol
Hope everyone is having a blessed start to their school year! HOLLA

supposed former Jesus junkie

Ok so i'm not sure how many people still actually read my blog on here. Nevertheless, i'm gonna give an update. a somewhat melancholy one.

I'm living in Philadelphia. I'm studying musical theatre. I'm working towards my career goals. I'm doing what I've wanted to do for so long.

But i miss home. I miss my senior year of high school when I was innocent. I mean, don't get me wrong, I haven't done anything bad or anything since, but I just feel TOO educated in the ways of the world right now. I miss being so close with my church back at home. I love my church here but i don't really have a family there. Zoar was my everything. My friends and family back home were so supportive of me. They still are, but now i never get to see them. I'm seriously going to go nuts if I don't see my mom and sister soon. I really miss my dad as well. I just didn't live with him most of my life so we're really good at keeping a close relationship long distance. I feel like i'm missing a limb not having my sister or mom near me. I just feel like i'm missing out on time with my mom. She and Summer are my everything and i feel like at the end of my life i'm going to look back and wish that i had spent more time with them rather than move away to pursue my career.

I love my Philly friends, don't get me wrong. I just feel like 33% of Dillon is Philadelphia and the other 67% is Louisiana.

And i know that she doesn't follow my blog anymore, but i'm hiding this in the middle of this posts so it's kinda camouflaged, but i miss Cassie. I might be in love with this woman. I think about her a LOT. She's an incredible child of God who only aims to please Him. I've just never felt THIS strongly about someone.

I just miss my old life. There are plenty of days when i don't miss it. But lately i've been missing it nonstop. I guess i'll just have to learn to close one chapter and let another chapter run its course. It just sucks in the meantime.

I love you guys. Whoever is out there reading this. Thanks for listening. I'm sorry i haven't posted in a million years. God Bless!

hello again!

Hi darlings. Man oh man has it been a while. I'm not really sure why i'm even writing this. Maybe it's because i'm home for a couple weeks and i automatically revert back to the life i had here. Maybe it's because a part of me wants that back. Maybe i still have that inside of me. Maybe i haven't changed after all. Maybe i have changed but can still manage to retain the Dillon that once was. i don't know honestly. So much has happened within the past year that my brain is just blah about some things. it's really confusing because you want something new but then you still crave what you once hd once you get the new stuff. aint that a sick joke. well nothing much has changed since i last wrote. that's a lie. but i just don't feel like listing all of them lol. woof. um, i've gone through a lot of spiritual overhaul this past school year. i mean obviously, moving across the country and away from the south. rough. but i love it there. it's incredible. everything i expected and more. it's just an intense transition. but ya know, i need this kind of testing. this kind of refinement. i was getting stagnant, i think. God knows what He's doin. So whatevs. Just trying to follow my dreams one day at a time. cheers to the freakin weekend.