Life recently, for me, has consisted of many things making it seem as a piece of dental floss easily cut in half by the dullest of blades. Friends are moving away. Relationships are ending. Old times are being packed up. And a new chapter of life is about to begin. In all of this i find it hard to find one thing to really focus on as far as what God is doing in my life. I mean obviously He's doing the whole "comfort me in the mist of trouble" thing. But somehow i feel like I'm so focused on the metaphysical proof of His pursuing me. Maybe he waiting in His armchair flipping through the book of life. Maybe He's watching me pace the floor as i try to count the number of ceiling tiles. He's waiting for me to sit next to Him and ask Him what the book He's holding is about.
I've found, mostly this summer, how much of an adventurous person i've come to be. Indeed i still want to do God's work in being a servant of Him and His people. But i also want to see this world that He has placed me on. I want to interact with it's people and discover it's places. Unfortunately for me, discovering this meant discovering that some parts of my life i was no longer in love with. I'm very sorry if this is scatter-brained. I've been the type of person who is a dreamer. Who sits back and dreams off of what other's have experienced. I loved to watch as people went out into the world and wrote books on their discoveries and on the universe as a whole. I was content with this. But now i find myself more and more pursuing the experience part of that. I keep awaiting someone who knows me so much and knows my strengths and weaknesses is going to shove me into the airport terminal whether or not my nerves like it! Whooda thought that person might be God?! I know, right? IDIOT! But this is where the story gets a little different.
After realizing all of this, the thought of maybe i'm focusing so much on the "world" started to occur. After all, God did say that we could never love Him and the world together. That part i'm still trying to work on. But then i came across a quote by MAX LUCADO.
"We, like Paul, are aware of two things: We are great sinners and we need a great savior. We, like Peter, are aware of two facts: We are going down and God is standing up. So we...leave behind the Titanic of self-righteousness and stand on the solid path of God's grace. And, surprisingly, we are able to walk water. Death is disarmed. Failures are forgivable. Life has real purpose. and God is not only within sight. He is within reach."
Pretty legit, huh?! Through all the mental battles here comes the peace. My salvation and the promised safekeeping of my soul is not so much teetering on the head of a pin. The part of my life that matters: Not the girlfriend, not the travel, not the school, it's all placed in the margin. It all comes back to Jesus. So He is mighty. Dillon, stop worrying. I'll put my faith in Him and make sure i don't stray too far. Sure i'll fall on my face five million times. But with the help of a few disciples, intimate time with Him, and some perseverance, the path will always seem worthwhile.
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