youtube=evil

So this is a random one. I've recently discovered the dangerous effects of zoning into youtube for excessive moments throughout the day. I'm quite the ellen fan. I just love interviews in general. I love watching people be asked about themselves and them answer back. It's very intriguing to me. Unfortunately, one interview always leads to another! I've also recently seen how much of an effect this has on my spiritual life. It sucks. Time to step up to the plate and spend my time in thought. Even if i'm not always reading directly from His word, He still commands us to be full of wisdom. Wisdom doesn't come from plugging your mind into the computer screen. It comes from thinking, reading, and realize what's around you. So there's my plan. BAM

Random awesome Adam Robinson quote:

" You must put on Christ. The next time satan shows his fangs at you he will see a reflection of the only one who could rip him apart and throw him into hell!"

.....chills much?!

dawn....

I'm home. After a long and distant journey down a path of hostility and certain destruction..... i'm home. In more ways then one i had my life handed to me in the form of earth. Boy, was it pleasing earth too! The smell was simply bewitching, no matter how many sniffs it took. It's feel was electrifying, no matter how many bruises it caused. And it's taste was so succulent that every bite left a feeling of want for more.

No matter the intensity of my want, it had to go. Every irrational thought told me so. The more i tore, the more i lashed, simply provided more scarlet ink to write my message. It made it's way down that celestial stream. There i stood, hoping for an answer; hoping that my message would return answered.

My answer came when my precious coveted earth began to dissolve. Where was it going?!?! I needed that earth!! The more that went away the more my anger simmered inside of me. The last bit dissolved. An incubus ended.

That bright light took me by surprise. I recoiled at the sight of it. I quivered. Was it death? Was it life? In the twinkling of an eye i realize it was the latter of those two. goodbye fear. goodbye earth. This dawn would suffice-forever.

give it up...

Some of you may know that lately i've been trying to decide what on earth i want for my future. It's been really rough. It's hard trying to figure out what your career is going to be and if every morning you're going to wake up and be excited about your job. I know that i may never get that full effect but i really want something very similar to that. I was just given some very blunt advice about a career choice that i was really excited about getting involved in. It seems that i'm just not at the right school for what i want. Yet, i feel like i belong here. So i guess i have to find something to suffice that makes me equally happy.

I sit here listening to Sarah McLachlan's Angel.

"You're in the arms of the angels, fly away from here.

From this dark, cold, hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel.

You were pulled from the wreckage of your silent revery.

You're in the arms of the angels, may you find some comforting."

Hello! I've been spending so many brain cells trying to buy any secure thought that i can find while all the while i have an entire book of them sitting right next to me. I've been praying over and over these past few weeks that God revive something in me that would take away some of the pain of worry. As hard and blunt as it was hearing the advice i was given, i was feeling some really weird contentment. I't felt sort of like " here ya go! " and i wept with both pain and relief. So imagine that, it might make you laugh. It makes ME laugh when i picture myself haha.

This is simply why i worship the God that i do! He has HIS timing and it is the only one supreme. What needs to be done with the time left over that isn't spent worrying about my future is building my relationship with Him. From there, He will provide. This may help people out there who are fighting the same thing.

thanks to Sarah McLachlan for that song and for my God for giving her the words to sing.

abraham....what a beast!

If any of you reading this have taken Mr. Randy Mitchell's bible class you may remember watching the movie Abraham. You may also remember how LONG it was! For some reason...I LOVED THAT MOVIE! Before finishing his class my senior year, i ran out to Barnes & Noble's and bought the dumb thing! So now i watch it every now and then just to remind me of not only the excellent times in Mr. Mitchell's class, but of the factual aspect of the story.

Last night i was sitting in my dorm room and all of a sudden had an urge to dive into my bible notes and such from last year! I was so pumped! So i whipped out my bible notebook (which is kept in a special drawer :P), my bible timeline, and of course....my ABRAHAM dvd.

I admit it, i got a little too focused on the dvd and neglected my notes a few times. Something about Richard Harris just makes me want to pay attention! All you harry potter fans might understand that one haha. The character of Abraham has always been one that i always envied as far as will power and strength are concerned. Every time he took a humongous step of faith, my heart just melted. I long for that kind of strength! Abraham was also a great man in regards to his love for his woman. He loved Sarai so much that he testified multiple times that God would strike him down before making him live without her!

There were so many points in the movie where the director portrayed each obstacle, may that be a person or place, as intimidating as possible. And as frail as ole Abraham was, all he ever saw was his God!

I mean how indescribably refreshing would it be to be in the midst of strife and discomfort, surrounded by gods for everything and anything-never being able to hear or communicate with any of them, and the one true God speaks to you in the midst of your confusion! Above the silence of all the other gods! I continue to be amazed by this man and by what God did through him! I'm continuing to learn the ways of great faith as his!