give it up...

Some of you may know that lately i've been trying to decide what on earth i want for my future. It's been really rough. It's hard trying to figure out what your career is going to be and if every morning you're going to wake up and be excited about your job. I know that i may never get that full effect but i really want something very similar to that. I was just given some very blunt advice about a career choice that i was really excited about getting involved in. It seems that i'm just not at the right school for what i want. Yet, i feel like i belong here. So i guess i have to find something to suffice that makes me equally happy.

I sit here listening to Sarah McLachlan's Angel.

"You're in the arms of the angels, fly away from here.

From this dark, cold, hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel.

You were pulled from the wreckage of your silent revery.

You're in the arms of the angels, may you find some comforting."

Hello! I've been spending so many brain cells trying to buy any secure thought that i can find while all the while i have an entire book of them sitting right next to me. I've been praying over and over these past few weeks that God revive something in me that would take away some of the pain of worry. As hard and blunt as it was hearing the advice i was given, i was feeling some really weird contentment. I't felt sort of like " here ya go! " and i wept with both pain and relief. So imagine that, it might make you laugh. It makes ME laugh when i picture myself haha.

This is simply why i worship the God that i do! He has HIS timing and it is the only one supreme. What needs to be done with the time left over that isn't spent worrying about my future is building my relationship with Him. From there, He will provide. This may help people out there who are fighting the same thing.

thanks to Sarah McLachlan for that song and for my God for giving her the words to sing.