.....nook and cranny glory

FINALLY THE WEEK IS OVER!!!! After a week of hardcore studying, catching up on artwork, and overall spiritual stress, the past week has finally moved on. I literally feel as if an elephant has finally gotten up off of my chest and allowed me to breathe.

Next week should be MUCH more relaxing. I don't have any tests and only a few things due for art, which i will most likely finish this weekend. I plan to catch up on some major tennis playing with Scottie. It has been far too long since i picked up my racquet. I believe the last time was right before the christmas break! I really want to get some stress painting done as well. Sometimes those turn out the best :)

Due to the past chaotic week, i have, yes...you guess it, once again realized my filth as a human. I just find it so hard to comprehend the mercy of God. I find it so hard to believe that He wiped away past, present, and future sin. It is INCREDIBLE. I am covered by His blood! And that blood has washed away all iniquities that were inside of my black, well-stocked, sinful cupboard that is my heart. It is the reason i wake up everyday. It is the reason i can look at my enemies and smile knowing that Christ is in them as well. I just have to continue to remind myself of this everyday.

Today, being the beautiful day that it is, i found myself buying bedding plants for my mother and me to plant in the garden. Believe me, it needed major revamping! When i got home i just sat there looking at the new african daisies that i bought. They were called "serenity" daisies. I sat there......bewildered at the complexity of each flower. Every nook and cranny of that plant revealed God's glory! Who else could create something so complex and beautiful?! To those who preach the "big band theory"......i say look again!

Meeting new people is GREAT by the way! Thanks for chatting with me all day everyday this past week miss Bailey Jean! :) Can't wait until saturday!

New pictures of Vegas :)

.....NYC LORD WILLIN'

Ok.....If you've been following my blog since the beginning....you are probably not surprised when i say that I'M FINALLY GOING TO NEW YORK!!!!! We've been "planning" on going for so long that it almost felt as if it wasn't going to happen. Well last night we had a meeting and it was VERY productive. So far we have the flights and the shows booked. These are the following things that we have booked and planned so far:

Thursday July 1st-Arrive around 11am (because we leave at 6 AM!) Go to the empire state building that night

Friday July 2nd- Check out a museum or two during the day....Experience the magic of a New York City hot dog......and the Addams Family the Musical on Broadway with Bebe Neuworth and NATHAN LANE! it's gonna be epic

Saturday July 3rd- Another couple of museums (hopefully the Met) and then that night THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA ON BROADWAY!!!! yea imma pee maself.

Sunday July 4th-whatever during the day.....at night fireworks over the bay near the statue of liberty :) if we feel up to it and feel like spending the extra money we may go see another show...

Monday July 5th-leave that afternoon :(

So as you can see it's gonna be a pretty spectacular trip LORD WILLING. As God's children we are not to plan ahead. We are to focus on the present. The time that HE has given us NOW. But i'm not going to say that i'm not excited :P I'm having to just stop thinking about it.

Oh yea, one minor detail why i'm so excited..... KRISTIN CHENOWETH is going to be on Broadway while we're there! holy cow.......i'm campin out by the stage door with a ring. We gonna get hitched! :P

I'm really curious to see how God uses this trip as fellowship between me and my three best friends in the entire world......GARRETT, GARRETT, AND JOHN. We've needed such a revamping since school started and such and i think that this will definitely help.

God, if this trip is supposed to happen, let it be. But if not, give us the wisdom to discern what is best and the peace that surpasses all understanding so that we may be ok with it. Thank you for your Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ, for through Him all things hold together. Amen

an update past due....

ok i'm posting this because i haven't posted anything in a very long time. School has been......eh.......hectic. But i'm learning to be thankful for the troubling times that God keeps giving me. I'm so blessed in my school situation. Anyways.....the council of kings is still good; still going strong. Art classes are still going pretty well. My midterm was voted as the best in the class.....i've seen better though. My trip to NEW YORK CITY has been booked! I'll go into that in another post......Our eldest feline companion, Jasper, ran away :( i think into the woods so he could die peacefully. We had no idea how old he was.....but he is being missed...Especially by his younger brother Vegas Marie.....He keeps lookin for him outside :(

I've been making PIES a lot! I've just finally perfected my apple pie. Let it be known that these pies are made FROM SCRATH. The crusts are homemade by yours truly. They're pretty stinkin tasty if i do say so myself.....I've just discovered the panoramic picture taking software on my new cell phone. Below will be some pictures taken with it. Above will be a picture of my midterm still life :)

can't take it in......

This will be quite the random and spastic entry. Today i feel so random. Just kind of a "do whatever" type of mood. i have some studying so i'll most likely bust that out as soon as possible. I plan on reading some more of The Horse and His Boy later. Oh how sweet it is that God has blessed me with fridays off. It' truly is glorious. There's an opera i plan to see tonight. I'm uber excited. I'm at this point today, which i think shall only be a one-time thing, where i've just recovered from something weird and now God is bringing me back to the place where He is the light of my life. The only way that i might be able to express this to you is by perhaps showing you some lyrics from one of my favorite songs by Imogen Heap....

"Can't close my eyes
They're wide awake
Every hair on my body
has got a thing for this place
Oh empty my heart
I've got to make room for this feeling
so much bigger than me."

Those lyrics create a tangible place in my head where i am with God and where He and i walk together. My filthy human body doesn't know how to react to it......HIS goodness makes my badness tremble. It's so cool to think of.

Anyway, now to make some coffee and read a bit. And yes, i will most likely remain in my sweat pants the rest of the day :) dont' judge me

light in the darkness.....

If you are paying attention to my time in between postings, you will realize how quickly God can work. That's one thing about my God that i love. As you have noticed, i've been feeling really suppressed lately. I've been in this deep pit that felt so inescapable. I felt lonely. But i preferred it. I felt pressured. I hid from it. I hated the world for being so happy when i was so NOT! Everything felt so distant and impossible. I felt so caged into my surroundings and my education. Weird, i know! I LOVE my university. And i LOVE my abilities and my knowledge. But i still felt so measured. So sized up. So DECIDED. Every night i prayed and prayed "God give me the peace that surpasses all understanding!" Having a mom who has worked with mental health most of her/my life, and her currently working in a mental hospital, i now realize what she meant when she said that depression was a sickness; one that you had to get over. My previous thoughts on the subject were that people just need to get over themselves. Well that's what i get for judging others. It hurts. A lot. And no matter what people say, no matter how many times you and other people shove more scripture down your throat, God will reveal Himself to you in His timing. I found that tonight. I'VE GOT A LIFE TO START LIVING! Sure, i still feel like i'm living in a hell hole compared to the narnian paradise that i dream of, but i've got to deal with what i've got. And that is still God's green earth, a country filled with opportunities, and a FATHER who snaps his fingers and gets my attention. As much as i think that i'm pursuing HIM, He pursues me one million times more! Now for some much needed rest, on the bed of faith that HE has prepared for me!

......still

Well....today was another day. Not really sure how this is going to play out. But it's still present nonetheless, this emotionally suppressed state. Today was better....i guess you could say. I had my art classes and my english class (which is taught by a woman who, in my opinion, is the only reason that college english professors still have a good name) and then came home to my dorm room. From there i turned on my soft listening playlist comprised of a combination of Narnia and Pride and Prejudice. I put on a pot of coffee and snuggled up to read one of my favorite Narnian Chronicles, The Horse and His Boy. I must say, it helped. Thank the good Lord on High i didn't have anything important due tomorrow. I picked up dinner to go and came back to the dorm to eat and watch bits and pieces another one of my favorites, Million Dollar Baby. I showered then read some more of narnia. And now here i sit. I can't say that today made it all better. Because i still feel empty. But it's only God's grace and mercy that i was emotionally able to act civil around my classmates. Ironically, the most cheery part of my day was chatting and laughing with a few strangers in my art classes. Maybe adaptation is what my heart has been longing for lately. Not assimilation......that would be a no no.....adaptation. Adaptation to the craziness of life, to it's unexpectedness, to it's scary gyrating paths, to it's possibilities, to it's loveliness all in one. It's overwhelming. I'm trying to get my face out of the sand so i can breathe. Meanwhile, it feels as if the tide is coming in so i'd better hurry.....

thanks friends for your prayers and concerns. God is the light, and in Him there is no darkness.
Time to spend some time in the Word. goodnight

caution: the following may be annoying...



I'm so depressed. it's been hurting awfully bad lately. i guess you couldn't really call it depressed, just suppressed. i feel the weight of the world's pressure yet i also feel the liveliness of the world's vivacity. i know.....come on, dillon, give us something tangible to work with here......but that's the problem. there are so many suppressed and agitated emotions going on inside of me presently and i'm not really sure now to deal with it. the days are long. but pretty successful. i just find nothing pleasing going on in my day it's SO odd. i think one factor of it is that i miss having all of my friends around me. i think i'm finally REALLY feeling the jist of this whole splitting apart our group of friends thing. i want to spend time with one of my good friends who is practically my little brother, i want to see a new, but familiar, face every day, and i miss my Clairee. don't get me wrong, i love college! i couldn't have chosen a better university for this point of my life. and i love living by myself. but there is a huge piece of me that longs for the life i had not too long ago. maybe this venting thing will work. i'm still hangin on to Jesus. He is literally the only rock that i have right now and will ever have. thank you Jesus for your grace and mercy.